(2:31am)
P: No I have not ever, And will not ever cover any tattoo I have.
(2:41am)
P: I may have walked away from my Christian beliefs, but I did not forget where I cam from.
(2:41am)
Me: Same here.
(2:44am)
P: We're nowhere in the same ray of beliefs tho.
(2:44am)
Me: How so?
(2:47am)
P: You still consider yourself a christian.
(2:47am)
Me: I can't deny my ezistance nor the way in which my heritage has evolved.
(2:50am)
P: If that's the way you believe, than that's you I guess.
(2:52am)
Me: You don't agree?
(2:53am)
P: Agree with what?
(2:54am)
Me: With what I said. nvm.
(2:59am)
P: Ok well I guess you were talking about some christian bullshit that I just dont agree with. Period.
(3:01am)
Me: I didn't say anything about christian bullshit. [i blame alot of my hurt on christian doctrine and in return use the metaphysical form of my spirituality to define certain people and places in time]
(3:04am)
P: Ok well then I have no idea what your talking about.
(3:08am)
Me: Maybe I need to be enlightened then.
(3:14am)
P: If you need to be enlightened, then you have no idea what I talking about. [that hurt my feelings, this is not how you talk to your lover]
(3:16am)
Me: So you're saying that you've turned your back on your past but you remember where you came from. Is that what you mean? [this is more of a friendly thing to say]
(3:21am)
P: I acknowledge where I spent a portion of my life but I have changed with age.
(3:22am)
Me: Well I'd like to hope that I have too. Science plays a huge part of my belief system now.
I shouldnt have said "I'd like to hope..." that pretty much contradicted what he was saying. I was scared. I know I've changed with age. Just dont/ didn't know if its the person he wants to be around.
Driven by fear is not a good thing. At this point I was sitting out front of his apartment waiting for some kind of sign from God. Completely sober and unaware of what would happen next, I sat in the cold hoping he would text me back. I kept thinking to myself "Don't talk shit about Katie P..." With no reply I turned the car around looking for a different parking spot, when I couldnt paralell park... I gave up. I felt like I was being tortured and that I deserved more. So I left. The last thing I thought was, "She's not the one for you, man..."
(4:22am)
Me: Do you want your book back?
I left the scene approximately 15 minutes after sending this last text message.
