I hate myself a little more each day. Sounds dramatic, right? Right. Jealousy. Bitterness. I want to be left alone for days. But living at home prevents that from happening. I quit smoking again, in hopes that it woud bring a little more happiness to someones life. Don't know if this will benefit me for the better, so I guess we'll see. I'm still just really really mad, mainly because I am extremely jealous of any other girl with a cup saize larger than an "A". I keep rearranging my life over and over again in hopes of finding that person who'd be glad to be with me and even show me off. It means alot when guys do that sort of thing. Just being in that person's presence, knowing that they love you, both mutually the same, is an understanding and a beginning to new hope.
I think I may have said some pretty awful things, outloud... and in my head. Those things aren't always true. Anger turns into bitterness and bitterness can turn into hate.
I'm mad at myself. Over and over again Ive been thinking of all of the things I've done that were wrong and harmed people. I need some relief and I need it soon.
You are incredibly attractive and have no reason to be jealous. I would have no problem showing you off but there is only so long I can try to grab someone's attention.
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