12/7/09

The closer I become in touch with myself, my God, the harder it becomes for me to remember things. Just little things. For example, a really cool new theory someone might enlighten me with, buying the material for that idea or project, and the contacts in which I need to posess or maintain those ideals. Basically, the things I need to do in my spare time or when I get off of work. I might be expiriencing something momentary during the begininng stages of the day and I'll exute all my energy into that one action and in the midst of it all, I might gain a slight bit of clarity of somesort pertaining to one idea or concept in my mind will have an epifany that will seem highly important at the time, but due to my current self or space in time, my mind can't seem to keep those at a surface level where I am allowed to explore it to a more advanced level. Thus, allowing myself to become disstracted from the stem of my recognition and loosing touch with the basis of my new found idea. Maybe this is what happens with the coming of age. I should write things down more often. Mental blocks, defects of character... that is what I'm working on right now. And wanting to see Him more. Knowing whats true and remembering not to deny myself or any of the thoughts or ideals I have found within myself that make up who I have become. If I denied any part of it, who I have become would be worthless. But to learn and carry on is what is important.