04/18/2011

It's a battle everyday waking up and getting to school. I know I wouldn't make it through if I wasn't getting grant money. That has truly been the main enccentive in getting me there. I have had some great morning drives on the way. Sometimes really emotional mornings where I can't stop crying and others when everything feels wonderful. Thise are the ones I really enjoy but at the same time, sometimes they make me feel stupid. And my reasoning for that is really complex and a long long story that I dont want to get in to at the moment. Lets just say that I get real bitter and jealous pretty easily. Hahaha, I'm not even ashamed to admit it and I really dont care what anyone else thinks about my reasining for the actions I make. It's way too difficult to try and please everyone around you all the time. It's exhuasting and makes me an even more bitter angry person. That is what I DONT WANT anymore. I hate feeling this way.