5/30/2010

I've come to the realization that the only person I've fallen in love with is a figment of my imagination. He feels more like a mirage than an actual person. Guess I should have realized thats what my father was trying to tell me when I drove through the parking lot and saw a yellow mirage with a dented front end. Josh knocked his tooth loose a few months, now its clear to me how much control my Dad actually has of my life. It's either the fact that I never get to see Josh or the fact that I've come to realize how the imagery in my mind of what love is becomes presented in the physical form as Josh. Having this understanding makes the idea of love seem impossible. Regardless if love is a person, a thing, or the decisions you make, being able to comprehend and not comprehend the imagery in my mind is a very frustrating thing.