It's hard for me to love myself. Every bad thought I have leaves me with a bitter taste for myself. Sometimes I make choicecs for the greater good (so I think) and it ends up back firing and hurting me in the future instead of having the greater outcome I thought it would produce... all these inadequecies create an alter image of myself that I fear he will leave me for. The more my life turns into these inadequecies, I push myself away and hide. I get scared. I cry. I hate it. And I ask why am I in so much pain? Some of these short comings I can work on or change but others are more permanent attributes of myself and I have to live with them and love myself. If I can't love who I am, I can't love anyone else.
Fear is a driving force that can fuel you to accomplish greater heights in your lilfe. Too much fear is a gimick our minds play on ourselves to protect us from getting hurt. I'm at a place in my life where these go hand in hand and I'm doing everything I can to maintain composure from doing something irrational again.
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