7/25/2010

Josh called me last night.. late last night. I hate my voice in conversation, especially over the phone when I talk to him. I see how he could find me highly annoying. Talking to him brought up alot of questions in my head as of where I am in life right now and reminded me of all the bad shit I've done in my past that has made me who I am. I dont want to hinder everything he's accomplished and I'm not sure if I am stable enough financially to have a positive outlook on life. My poor credit shouldnt have to interfere with his life in anyway. He told me to call him today when I was done doing makeup for a photoshoot, so I did, he sounded sad... I hated my voice and this is when all of these other questions about my current life situation arose. I always thought that Josh would have all the answers and I still do. Maybe I'm just not ready to admit that. Or maybe I am and I'm just now realizing it.