The uncomfortableness of living at home at the age after 18 can eventually become unbearable. To a hypersensitive person especially. Or even of someone with a great imagination. It has pretty much gotten to that point in my life. The fact that my family loves me so much creeps me out. I feel neglected and non respected, unheard or listened to and at the same time overly stimulated in areas of which I should not be stimulated in. Like I'm not being listened to. So fine. Dont take my advice or opinion. this may affect my behaviour in which case you should understand why. Alot of times I feel manipulated and drawn into situations of which I have no control or benefit of being in. I'm on a soap box. Its extremely difficult me living here. I feel like an expirament, not a loving being, much less an adult. Hopefully, my children, if I have any, wont have to feel this way.
Today is my mother's 46th birthday. I made her a Lemon cake with cream cheese frosting. Thats the kind she wanted. And my grandmother is here visiting. We'r about to eat fried fish for dinner.
I really want to get rid of my car and move out and have a steady income that allows me to live a happy life, not constantly having to live in fear that things will be taken away if I do something "bad".
My dad looks like shit. He's too young to be this overworked and tired. Hes worked himself ragged and exhuasted himself in which has allowed him to be taken advandtage of. I dont know what to do anymore because no one is listening to me and it seems like no one is telling me the truth. So I pretty much feel that I have every right to honestly speak how I feel because without truth all we have are lies and disbelief which creates a reality of non existance.
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